Padidd.. err ‘Kijang’!

Happy New Years.  And to those recognizing the upcoming ‘Year of the Dragon’ Happy New Years to you as well.

We in Brunei live amongst a large Chinese population whose New Years is January 23rd.

Slow boat to Brunei

2 New Years celebrations in a matter of weeks, suhweet situation you may say.  Ehhh.

Brunei is near the equator.  Beautiful, wild and much of it pristine.  Not to mention an alcohol-free destination (I know what you’re thinking.  Paul, when you get the shakes/tremors drink some mouthwash.  Drink vanilla extract.  ‘Something brother’!  Ahh but those items are alcohol-free as well.  Brunei’s REALLY covered its bases.. hahaha).

So counting down the ball drop in a peacoat and flask/thermos of Irish coffee or champagne flute in freezing hand(s) is but a memory.

Though 1 of Malaysia’s borders is ~40 minute drive and our friend Dave makes ‘beer runs’ accordingly.

We had a good time on New Years.  Poker, board games at a friend’s house.  Nothing embarrassing.  And you thought I couldn’t/wouldn’t grow up.  Though yes I had my camera.  You know me!

And ‘Yes’ I WILL share any awkward or extremely embarrassing pictures in the future.  Including immediate family and friends in uncomfortable situations.If that person(s) should be mad for my splashing/exploiting/blackmailing etc., their out-of-character image, I quote ‘Animal House’s’ Otter, ‘You fukced up.  You trusted us!  Make the best of it’.

Alright, o.k. on to the subject of this message.

Do you remember/ play the game, ‘Padiddle’?  Of course you do.  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=padiddle

It’s an ageless game.  Fun had by all.  Unless those losing ‘their shirt’ in Padiddle is an obese woman or man/hairy man, one with horrible body odor etc.,.  In a sweat-box like Brunei we’ve all fallen victim to the B O monster..

We play a version of Padiddle in Brunei.  We call ours, ‘Kijang’.

Toyota makes the ‘Kijang’.  Apparently in Greek it means, ‘Dependable yet extremely uncomfortable mode of transport’.  No..I’m s hitting ya!

It’s a box-type, 4-door van with double doors on the back.  Lovingly referred to by most Western folk alike as a, ‘S hitbox’, ‘S hit can’ ‘My piece of s hit’ or a woman’s name.  At most times the name of a woman who wouldn’t give us men the time of day but again I’m digressing.

I liken ‘Kijang’ to the horrible sound a missed basketball shot makes when hitting the front, not the top of a basketball rim.

I bet the Kijang would’ve given my Mom’s ’77 Volkswagen Westfalia a run for its money for the, ‘Whose car shakes the most when at/near 50 mph’? competition.

The Kijang doesn’t have the wall-to-wall crushed velvet interior or kidney shaped side windows adorning the classic Chevy ‘Stabbin’ Cabin’ van.

The Stabbin' Cabin.. Right this way ladies

Nope, the Kijang screams ‘Simple’ or ‘Modest’ means.  Usually has a ladder(s) side mounted and 6-8 hungry for work though emaciated and disgruntled looking passengers.  Boredom, starving are apparently strong motivators for work in Brunei too!

My other car..

My other car..

A rare find.. an empty Kijang.  Crikey!

Imagine the # of Camry’s or the Chrysler, faux wood paneled vans circa 1987 dotting the country and you’ll grasp the # of ‘Kijang’s’ and accompanied slaps to the ceiling when spotting ’em first.

Neon green, acid trip Purple, Rusty Red.. there are MANY colors represented on our Kijangs.

Some colors look ‘Custom’, lovingly painted themselves with a hand roller!Hey I’m not poking fun.

I know exactly how it is to have a Kijang-caliber vehicle.

Levity is a rarity in this mortal deity – Donald Blum

During your next round of Padiddle think about your pals in Brunei and raise that roadie on high and proclaim, ‘Kijang’.

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